Remembering to Breathe

I learned that all the program materials are in, I am to receive a call to make an appointment to get all of the required paperwork started, then, if it goes anything like last time, I'll start the pre-screening diagnostic testing. So, it looks like I'll be back on treatment somewhere around the end of October to the early part of November. *sigh*

For some reason, this is giving me a great deal of anxiety. I am not treatment-naive, I know how it will be. But as much as I want to "get better", I am not looking forward to doing what it takes to get there.

We went to my husband's 30th High School Reunion. I would have rather taken a severe beating than attend, but I wentanyway. I had to buy clothes because nothing I have that would be appropriate for the event AND the expected weather fit me properly. It had been raining all day and all night long for three days. I had to get something with long sleeves because it is chilly now, especially on a rainy evening and I had to buy shoes because the strappy little sandals I was planning to wear weren't going to work in the rain. I found a cute moss green twin set that looks nice with my black pants and I wore my grandmother's pearls. I found a dark corner to hide in and waited until other non-school-related spouses and significant others gathered along with me. It was boring and honestly, while I am happy my husband had a nice time, I would have rather stayed home and done some knitting.